A Breakthrough...????

I actually posted an entry in my journal today after nearly two months? Dare one be optimistic, ya'll?

Fall Term Begins

The girls have arrived safely at Exeter.


All things considered, even if it is September 10th, it hasn't been too bad of a day...



Happy Birthday to me.

The Countdown Continues

The girls and I have picked up the last of the odds and ends for their return to Exeter on Thursday. Yesterday having nearly ended in a literal nervous breakdown, we are all just glad to have gotten through the morning.

(I think two decades of insanity hovering about me has finally taken its toll, ya'll.)

No great literary offerings have flowed from my fingertips since the last entry: moving has consumed my every waking minute. As for the former best friend, his book is due "out" this month. I hope it will be met with the enthusiasm he both expects and (grammatical helplessness aside) deserves.

He and I are no longer talking, but such is beside the point.

What matters, I suppose, is that a writer will see his work in print. Regardless of anything that may passed between us, I wish him every success.

After all...

One of us should make a mark with this writing thing!

Counting Down the Days

Yesterday, I saw my son onto his train. He is now safely, happily ensconced in Little dorm at Dartmouth College, where he will begin his sophomore year...as well as his first as an Undergraduate Advisor. At present, I find myself seated in the waiting area of the Westfield Mall Sears, watching the fashion show put on by my daughters, preparing myself mentally and psychologically for their departure for Exeter (ironically on my birthday) in a week.

Still do I avoid actual writing--like the bubonic plague, in fact. Disillusionment (?)...perhaps lack of inspiration, and maybe plain fatigue have literally drained the desire from me; nevertheless, I am resolved not to fly into a full-fledged, heart-stopping panic. Photography stands in the interim as my diversion of choice as I prepare to move to Colorado Springs--

(Brief pause. Ondrelique just emerged from the fitting room wearing an electric green jacket!!!!! Shocking.)

I often wonder if I will ever write again. After years of "fighting the good fight," I now find myself thinking maybe I was never meant to do this in the first place...what if I never possessed any talent...what if I have been deluding myself all these years...? Even so, as I rifle through my deepest thoughts and inclinations, there is nothing I would rather do, nothing else that I can envision myself doing with my life.

Time will tell.

In the mean time, I'm just hoping to survive the Mall!

On the Two-Year "Anniversary" Of....

Today brings with it few surprises: still packing, still not writing. The undeniable pressure of urgency allows not a moment's respite; yet unexpectedly, the first stirrings of optimism have arisen. Just maybe the kids and I can pull this off after all...?!

Go West, Young(ish) Woman!

The past month has held more than its share of challenges...and, no, I have not written anything more. As my children and I concluded, the stress and strain of life in New Haven has taken a greater toll (this particular summer) than ever before. Fortunately, the long-awaited, much discussed move "out West" is underway; and with it, we are all optimistic, should come some peace of mind.


I certainly hope so.

Never before have I gone so long without even the desire to write.

Denouement (?)

It has occurred to me that not everyone who enjoys writing is, indeed, a writer. Some of us are grammarians, perhaps even star English students...yet not writers.

This past week has found me searching within the very depths of my own longings and ambitions hoping to find within myself that one element, that one trait which would elevate me from a mere English major to the level of the potential writer.

I have yet to discover it.

Maybe the last bout with illness has simply left me temporarily drained. Perhaps the conflict with my former (?) friend has struck a blow to my confidence...Or, possibly, the time has come to finally face facts.

Those who can...write.

Those who can't...shouldn't.